


Talk to Me Like We're Okay

by IndigoFudge



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bleeding Out, Blood and Injury, Childhood Memories, Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Love Confessions, M/M, Reminiscing, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25213924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoFudge/pseuds/IndigoFudge
Summary: Eddie's bleeding out under Neibolt. His one request of Richie is "Talk to me."It's not that hard, really. Just talk to your hurt (dying) friend (crush) to keep him alive long enough to get out.Simple.But with all this stress (yes, stress, that's all it is), Richie's finding it hard to keep his own secrets.And as it turns out, maybe that's a good thing.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 206





	Talk to Me Like We're Okay

**Author's Note:**

> While this work technically is done, I will add more chapters if anyone wants me to!

"Guess you're stuck with me now, huh?" Eddie says to Richie, watching the others leave. He meant it as a joke, of course. _Probably_.

" _Stuck_? No, Spaghetti, I could never be _stuck_ with you." Richie sits next to Eddie, so close that their shoulders are touching. "You're the one who's stuck with me."

Eddie's lips turn up in what may be a smile. "Good. 'M glad," he says. His eyes close. It takes an extraordinary amount of effort to open them again. "H-hey, can you, um? Can you talk to me? Please. 'S hard to stay awake. And you know I, I like your voice."

"Of course," Richie says, gently. "But when we get out of here, you'll regret asking me that. I'll talk your ear off. I'll talk _both_ of your ears off. Then you'll be earless! My poor, earless Spaghetti." Rambling comes easily in the presence of crippling fear.

"Hm." Eddie lets out a breathy laugh. "Yeah. Exactly... exactly like that." He forces himself to keep his eyes open, to suck in another breath even though it puts him in excruciating pain. More than anything, though, he forces himself to not show that pain on his face. _Richie doesn't need that right now._

Richie lightly pats Eddie on the back, and his hand stays there. "Remember when we were like fifteen, and we went to the quarry alone? The water was freezing. And we were both so cold, we were shivering, but we huddled close together for warmth. Like penguins! Then the sun came out and we immediately jumped back into the water. Ha. After a while it didn't seem as cold. You told me that was a bad sign, that I might be getting hypothermia, and I didn't believe you but you made me get out of the water anyway and then I almost had to go to the hospital because it turned out I _did_ have mild hypothermia?"

"Yeah, your lips were blue." Eddie's voice is small. He tastes blood.

"Good memory! They say an elephant never forgets, and I guess dear Sonia passed her ability on to you." Richie feigns sadness, holding his right hand to his heart. 

Eddie blinks, trying to make his vision less blurry, but it doesn't work. "Fuck you," he slurs. _Slurring isn't good_ , he thinks. _Slurring means I've lost maybe 30% of my blood volume. I can lose 40% before things start to look really bad. 50% means I'll die. Soon, I should be getting weaker and weaker until I can't move._ Eddie takes Richie's hand before that can happen, because if he's going to die, ~~which he is,~~ he wants to die holding Richie's hand. "Keep talking."

"Okay." Richie doesn't even have to think; talking to Eddie has always been the easiest thing. "We were on a walk once, maybe Stan was with us, I don't remember, and I saw a snake on the side of the road. It was harmless, but I wanted to scare you, so I picked it up and held it near your face. You didn't even flinch. You- you gently took it from me and put it in the bushes, and you said 'you scared him, asshole.' I was too shocked to laugh. Eddie Kaspbrak, _literally_ sick with anxiety, hadn't shown a speck of fear when confronted by a snake. Brave back then, and brave now."

"'Cause I knew it wasn't poisonous. Maine's only got one species of snake that may be poisonous, emphasis on the _may_." _If I keep up the banter, everything will be okay._ "But thanks. For saying I'm brave."

Richie gives Eddie's hand a squeeze. "It's true. Remember that one time when you, y'know, killed a demon clown?"

"Didn't kill him," whispers Eddie. He's slumped almost all the way over, his head situated in Richie's lap. Richie starts playing with his hair, and Eddie focuses on that feeling. The pain doesn't matter now, the only thing that matters is Richie. It's just the two of them, maybe on a beach. The mental image seems nearly real if Eddie concentrates enough, but it's taking too much energy, so he drops it. "Sorry."

" _No._ No apologizing, especially not... not now. You have _nothing_ to apologize for, do you hear me? I'd still be in the Deadlights if it wasn't for you. Eds, you saved my life." Richie wishes he could kiss Eddie, but he can't, so he just keeps talking. "Remember that time right after you got your cast off, and I was being annoying? It was you and me in the clubhouse, and you were on the hammock, and I pretended to launch you off but I sat down too hard and you fell? You almost broke your arm again. And then I-" _kissed it better._ Richie stops for a second, collecting himself. "Then you had to go home."

Eddie opens his eyes slightly and gazes up at Richie's face. It's hazy, but it's there. "Talk more. I don't... want to sleep." _I can't move. That means I'm probably around 40% blood loss._ "Talk about you. What you did for the past... twenty years."

"Oh, Spaghetti, I could talk about myself all day," Richie says, slightly grateful for the change of subject. "Let's see." But his face falls. He realizes that he really doesn't want to talk about anything that happened in the past 20 years. None of it was good. 

"What's wrong?" murmurs Eddie.

Richie looks down, putting a hand on Eddie's chest. "Eds, I'm... sorry. I don't want to talk about that. I _can't._ I'm not happy with how things were for the last twenty years. I just... I hate it, all of it. Being a famous comedian would have been great, but it wasn't worth it if the price was forgetting you." He takes a couple measured breaths. "You know how I don't write my own stuff? Well. I don't _want_ to make shitty jokes about women. I'm kind of, uh, gay." His words lose force, and the sentence stutters to a stop. Thirty years of repressing it, and now Eddie knows. "You're actually the first person I've told. Like, ever." _Okay, that's the first step._

Eddie looks happier - as happy as he can be when he's going to die any minute. He waits a couple seconds, swallowing blood and gathering the energy to speak. "That's big," he manages. "I'm proud of you." _I can't tell Richie I love him_ now. _It would be cruel to tell him my feelings only to die. I won't leave him with that._

"Yeah?" Richie gives a half smile. "There's something else, too. I need to say it, and I- I should have said it a long time ago. But I didn't want you to hate me. I know it's stupid, but I have to say it _now._ " He could just back down now, and it would be fine.

But no, it wouldn't be fine. Eddie coughs weakly, blood bubbling from his mouth, and he's going to die. He's going to die and Richie will have to live the rest of his own life knowing that he never said the whole truth.

"Eds, I've loved you since we were kids," Richie says, and then starts crying. He feels lighter now, but he still searches Eddie's face for any sign of revulsion.

Eddie's breath catches in his throat. " _Oh_ , that makes this so much easier." Tears pool in his eyes. "Jackass. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I love- I love you too." He smiles, shakily. Maybe dying right now wouldn't be so bad - everything is complete. He won't have to go back to Myra, he can just lie here with his head in Richie's lap as he takes his last breath and it will be over and done with. Easy. _Peaceful._ The other sounds in the cavern melt together; all there is is _Richie._

But Richie is broken, trying and failing to look happy. "That's- that's _great_ , Eds, why do you look so sad? That's a good thing. We love each other. When we get out of here, we can go on a date, how does that sound? Maybe to the park? I'll dress up in the stupidest fucking outfit you can imagine, and you'll be so embarrassed of me, but that's okay because you think I'm cute. I've never been good at cooking, so either you make us food, or we can buy some, but it doesn't matter because we'll be together and happy."

"Not 'when.'" Eddie closes his eyes. "'M not getting out of here." 

"You _are_ ," Richie lies. "I'm going to carry you out of here. You can move into my apartment. It's dirty as fuck right now, but I'll clean it for you. I'll give it a whole ass makeover, painting the walls - what's your favorite color? I bet it's red. I'll paint the walls red and get nice furniture and plants, you like plants, right? I'll learn how to cook, too, especially for you. I can cook spaghetti, because you're my favorite Spaghetti, and we can sit at the expensive dining room table and eat and we can drink whatever alcohol you want. Or if you don't like alcohol, we'll drink sparkling apple cider. Fan- _cy._ Only the fanciest for my Eds - you deserve the best." The whole time Richie's talking, he's keeping one hand over Eddie's heart, feeling the rapid beat and willing it not to stop.

"Keep going," Eddie mumbles. This is nice. Richie's voice is soothing.

"I'll, uh, I'll buy a yo-yo!" Richie sniffles. "Remember that time when I had a new yo-yo and I couldn't do anything with it, but you took it from me and easily did like 500 tricks? That was pretty cute. Then when you were showing me how to do it, our hands were touching and I wanted to hug you. I didn't, though; I was too scared. But when we get out of here, I'll hug you all the time. You'll wake up, and I'll hug you. I'll hug you when you're making breakfast. I'll hug you before you leave for work. I'll hug you as soon as you get home. And of course I'll hug you before we go to bed. I'm never wasting a hug opportunity again, Eddie. In fact- I'll hug you right now."

Very carefully, he helps Eddie sit up, apologizing several times whenever a pained look crosses his face. Richie positions Eddie so he's pretty much sitting in his lap, and then they hug. At least, Richie hugs. Eddie's too weak to move his arms, so he just leans forward against Richie's upper body and cries at the thought that this will be the last time he'll ever get to do this. He commits to memory the feeling of Richie's arms around him, Richie's hand on the back of his head. Each breath exhausts him, and he feels himself start to drift away.

 _No!_ Suddenly, Eddie doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to leave the world right when happiness is becoming attainable. Shapes swim in front of his eyes. He inhales, flames engulfing his chest, and imagines himself being tethered to Richie, tethered to this spot. "Richie," he says. "Richie, hey."

"Yeah?" Richie is still hugging him.

"I don't want to die," Eddie says, and tears are creeping into his voice. He shivers - when did this cavern get so damn cold? - but is comforted by Richie's arms. It almost feels as if Richie hugging him is keeping him alive. 

"Eddie my love, you're not going to die." Richie tries to make his voice soothing. "We'll get you out of here and after I paint my walls red, I'll buy a yellow bedspread. You always liked yellow too, right? You got those yellow sneakers in 9th grade, and wore them every day until you accidentally stepped in mud in the Barrens and got terrified that your mom would find out so you dumped both the sneakers in the clubhouse. _Fuck._ Sometimes I want to go back in time, you know? Back before all this shit happened. Maybe I could... maybe I could stop _this_ from happening." He gestures at the hole in Eddie's chest.

Eddie leans more into the hug. "I love you," he breathes. His world is shaking.

Shit. It's not his world that's shaking, it's the ground. The whole cavern, for that matter. A chunk of rock falls, nearly hitting him in the head. 

"I love you too," says Richie, "and what the fuck is happening? Oh shit, did they- are they dead? Or is It dead? Or _both?_ Do you think it was a murder-suicide kind of deal?"

"Why would it be a murder-suicide?"

Both Eddie and Richie turn. Mike is standing there, out of breath. Bev, Ben, and Bill run up behind him.

"I don't fucking know, man! I just thought, what's the worst possible scenario here?" Richie's voice is frantic. He stands up, holding Eddie in a bridal carry. "Did you do it?"

Eddie listens, from his position tucked against Richie's chest. At least it's warm.

"Yeah!" Bev says. "We did! Is Eddie..."

"'M alive," says Eddie. He feels as if he could cry with relief. _It is dead. That means I might actually fucking get out of here. I might live! Holy shit, I might live!_ He puts all of his strength into breathing, into keeping himself grounded. _I'm not letting myself slip away now - not now that I actually have a chance._

"Oh, thank God," Bev cries. She kisses the side of Eddie's head, and then gives his free hand a squeeze. "Hang on, honey, we're getting you out of here."

Eddie almost falls asleep during the way out, but manages not to by forcing himself to cough. The resulting explosion of pain in his chest is enough to startle him awake. _Maybe not the safest tactic,_ he thinks _, but definitely safer than dying. If I fall asleep or pass out, I won't wake up again, I'm sure of it._ His head rests on Richie's shoulder, which puts him in the perfect position to give Richie an inconspicuous kiss on the neck. It means a lot of things - 'I love you,' 'thanks for carrying me out,' and 'please don't give up on me,' but mostly the first one. His heart aches with how much he loves Richie - although that's probably also the giant chest wound, which hurts so badly that by the time they get out of Neibolt Eddie is shaking with the exertion of trying not to scream.

"My phone's in my car," Bill calls. His voice sounds far away; everyone's does except for Richie's, which is loud in Eddie's ear.

"Stay with me, Eds," he says. "You're doing so good. I know it hurts, I know. But Bill just called an ambulance, okay? You're going to be fine." 

Richie sounds just as elated as Eddie feels. He finds Richie's hand, and holds it. "Ride with me in the ambulance?" he whispers. It's all he can do to not close his eyes. His vision is white around the edges with pain as he presses his head against Richie's shoulder, gasping slightly.

"Definitely." Richie squeezes Eddie's hand. "And the hospital isn't going to be so bad. After you broke your arm, we all snuck in to visit you, but I stayed even after they all left. I had comic books, and I gave you my flashlight so you'd be able to read under the covers. You know, I kissed your head before I had to go home, when you fell asleep. I never knew if you noticed or not - I kind of hoped you didn't, 'cause then you would know I liked you. But I cared about you so much. I still do. When we get to the hospital, I won't leave your side, alright? I will pull up a chair and stay until someone forces me to leave."

"I noticed," Eddie says, quietly.

"What?"

"The kiss. I wasn't asleep." He smiles. "I know I'll be okay in the hospital because you'll be there, and you'll murder the staff if anyone does anything bad."

Richie holds Eddie tightly to his chest, trying to warm him up. "Damn right I will."

The ambulance arrives now, and Eddie is loaded into the back. He manages to ask the nurses to let Richie come.

And then, once everything is safe - once he's finally in the hospital and being brought into surgery - he lets himself fall unconscious.

Because he knows he'll make it.


End file.
